


Secret

by drawingblinds (breathtaken)



Category: History Boys (2006), History Boys - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-10
Updated: 2007-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-23 13:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/927275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathtaken/pseuds/drawingblinds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The world she's known is one where women are inevitably fucked over by men, where the male question surrounds and shapes, her a small central bubble of dissent..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret

It's her secret.

He has never been secret, always blundering from year to year with the rawness of his soul exposed to anyone who'd care to see. The poets his grand, sweeping affirmation, unrequited love centre stage on the page of his life. Tom's the same way, but worse, every move an effort to wrench away from who he really is. His historical showmanship a cheap attempt at distraction, his careful logic a house of cards that she suspects Dakin has, or will, destroy with a single breath. Revealing, of course, the same tired, longing lover.

Not her. She learnt long ago that she doesn't have to give in to affairs of the heart.

She's never been a feminist, not really. She appreciates being able to work and live independently, but the world she's known is one where women are inevitably fucked over by men, where the male question surrounds and shapes, her a small central bubble of dissent; as de Beauvoir wrote, the Other. But there's no room for revolution inside these classrooms cloyed with testosterone, and sometimes she looks at her life, late at night with her second glass of wine, and questions her own wisdom: she could have taught girls, after all. But instead, she chose to guide the men of tomorrow, as a safeguard against the trappings of their gender, perhaps, an attempt at a different perspective. And she has made some achievement, after all. Every now and then, a spark ignited, a horizon split wide.

_Queen Elizabeth, Miss._

That grin, those white teeth, expression both smug satisfaction and a puppylike longing for her approval. And as her eyes meet his she can feel all her defences gape, her secret plain across her face. She is beautifully, horribly exposed, but he's still grinning and she knows he's still unfinished, too brim-full of his own achievement to know her at all (though that's a blessing really). She recovers, responds. The moment passes.

Tom didn't notice either. She's hardly surprised. His eyes are elsewhere.


End file.
